


Exasperation in capital letters

by Number_Twelve



Series: The Umbrella Academy Oneshots & others [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, BAMF Number Five | The Boy, BAMFs, Ben Hargreeves' Tentacles | Bentacles, Drugs, Gen, Ghost Ben Hargreeves, How do I tag?, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, Klaus Hargreeves-centric, Number Five | The Boy-centric, Sarcastic Ben Hargreeves, Um... well this involves Klaus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:34:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25959106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Number_Twelve/pseuds/Number_Twelve
Summary: It isn't the first time Klaus gets drunk. Nope, not the first time. Ben knows this due to the fact that he's been with him ever since they were kids, and not even death had parted them.Yet, in all those years, this really couldn't be the worst time to have a tipsy, lunatic-minded Klaus.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves
Series: The Umbrella Academy Oneshots & others [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1885216
Kudos: 107





	Exasperation in capital letters

It had been... a relatively normal day. Normal meaning that, yes, Ben was still a ghost, and yes, Klaus was drunk. Again. As much as he loved his dear, litte brother, he couldn't help but feel annoyed at this. He had thought that Klaus had changed for the better and that he had finally left behind the world of drugs and all other nonsense, but all it had taken was one slap from his… friend, and he had driven straight to the nearest alcohol shop. As much as Ben had tried to stop him (no easy task, but it had worked now and then before), the other (foolish) man had still drunk from a bottle of what appeared to be vodka, and now he was back to being the old Klaus. AKA, the Klaus who seemed to be crazy (not that he already was, in a… good way…?) even to Ben, due to the looks other costumers where giving him. After all, he had piled his shoping cart with... what, twelve or thirteen bottles?

"Klaus. Look, I know you are upset, but now is not the time for this." Ben said, swiftly snatching one of the bottles from the shoping cart and replacing it on a shelf. Klaus stepped around him, pulling it back out with a giggle as he tightly held onto the other bottle.

"Reeeeeally?" he asked, tilting his head like a confused (playfully confusesd, mind you) puppy. Ben took it back from him, slapping his hand away when the other man tried to take it back.

"Klaus. I thought we had agreed that you were not a fool anymore?" he said in an exasperated fashion, taking a step back from Klaus when he tried reaching for the bottle. Klaus just giggled, taking another swig from the bottle he was holding and fishing another one out from the shelf. He used it to point at Ben.

"I am perfectly fine, brother," he said, words nearly melting toguether. Ben tugged the other bottle from his hand, replacing it on its shelf.

"No, you are not. Why do you keep poisoning your body? You had already gotten over that," Ben said, almost sadly.

"Dave punched me." Klaus pointed out, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I thought people dealt with heartbreaks by eating ice cream," he muttered with a sigh.

Klaus laughed in a very concerning way. "Sure..."

"Klaus, fancy seeing you here."

Both Ben and Klaus turned their heads (well, Klaus had to. Ben just leaned sideways) to find Five standing behind Klaus, checking the price tag for a row of bottles that seemed to be whisky, or some stronger stuff by the looks of it. Klaus turned around to fully look at him.

"Aren't you a bit too young to be looking at alcohol?" he said, his voice slurred. Five raised a quiet eyebrow, turning his head an inch to look at him sideways.

"I am a middle aged man in the body of a thirteen year old," he reminded him. "I am pretty capable of drinking the stuff."

"Suit yourself." Klaus said, taking another bottle from the shelf. Ben tugged it out of his hands again and gave the back of his head a small slap, getting an "owwwww" from him. Five noticed the bottle hovering in midair.

"Hey, Ben." he said. Ben wondered if he just said that in case it was him, or if he trully knew he was the ghost by his side. But then, he was always with Klaus, whether anyone knew it or not. He put the bottle back in its place and gave Five's shoulder a small, light pat as a response to his brother's words. If the boy had felt it, he didn't show it. Maybe he had mistaken it for a litrle breeze or simply his old school jacket. 

"When will you change out of those clothes?" Klaus asked him, drawing Ben's attention back to him. Two more bottles had mysteriously appeared in his cart as he drank some more. Ben fished another three out discretely, putting them at the bottom of the shelf.

"And when will you get over your addicitons, hmmm?" Five replied, pulling out a small bottle that could easily be placed in the inside pocket of his jacket. Klaus had no anwser for that, excepting a swig from his bottle. Five gave him his trademark smile (well... smirk.). "Nice to know."

He didn't wait for an answer, just walked to the cashier and placed the bottle on the counter. The man behind it frowned at him.

"Um, young sir, I am afraid I don't sell alcohol to minors." he said, his voice a little doubtful. Five gave him his smile.

"And whoever told you the whisky was for me?" he returned. The man seemed to rethink his life choices as he quickly put the bottle in a paper bag and asked for the price, for which Five had a few dollars (that he had just found kying around in Diego's wallet) to give. He then left the shop, raising his hand in a quiet goodbye to Klaus and Ben, both of them returning the gesture. They didn't miss Five fishing the bottle out of the bag and unscrewing the cap as he dissapeared down the sidewalk.

"Well, I'll be paying for all of thissss," Klaus said, wheeling the shopping cart back to the counter. Ben sighed, left to just watch with an exasperated expression on his face as his brother payed for the alcohol.


End file.
